Dreams.

Two dreams i had recently, they scared the shit out of me, i felt the need to write them down as clearly as my memory would allow:

Bad Dream Spasm: The Scanner of Numb.

Starts at the feet, at the same time, a shower of tiny jaggy football boots running all over me. I'm trapped, cannot move. The scanning starts. Like the light on a scanner photocopier, up and down, feelings of extreme pins and needles move up and down the body, I start to worry about the possibility of a cardiac arrest, a heart attack. I want to scream, but my body and mind won't let me. I can't tell if i'm moving my mouth and the words are frozen, or if I'm just imagining i can't. speak. My body continues to fizz up. I feel like all the tiny fuzzy particles on a blank TV channel. the scanner of numb keeps moving up and down. I feel and worry more and more about cardiac arrest. I shout for 'help' over and over again, but nothing sounds or moves. The scanner of numb is fizzing intensely and fast, when. Boom. The crescendo of numb. Like a thousand tiny pieces, a thousand tiny football boots jumping on me, on my tounge, my fat swelling tounge. And then i begin to open my eyes in a boiling hot freezing cold pit of sweat. All i see is the fuzz of a blank television. I need water.

Big Head Bobby, Dream:

Tiny feet. Tiny tiny feet. And a big bobbing body. I feel like a russian doll. The ones with more inside. Only I'm just one. I feel like I'm bobbing in the sea. Feelings of intense intense regret and paranoia for the extreme unknown. I feel like my fat russian doll body is swelling, with water, or blood, maybe. Maybe there is no liquid involved. Just filling up with the feelings of self loathing, guilt, regret, paranoia and hate. Fear for not knowing what I have done. Knowing they are after me. And I'm just bobbing away. Like a buoy in the sea. With my tiny, tiny feet, glued together. My mouth swelling up as ever to the tune of the unknown. To the tune of self torture. What have I done? They have arrived at my door. To get me.


i was actually awake during these two 'dreams', i don't know what else to call them. they were just very clear feelings. maybe i was hallucinating. ?. who knows.