a story about a bad time i had.

my face went red

eyes rolled in to head

i sank in to bed

wishing i were, dead

we looked at pictures

we laughed aloud

then, i seen her

your not allowed

i acted coyly

and coiled away

enough is enough

enough for today

i wish i had said

letter A

drew out a triangle of letter A's in the Futura font. then layered it up.

i like it.

......

the hardships of being a teenager.

spots.

The front and back cover of Felt's, Ballad of the Band 12" single. Love the photos. 

RAGE

forgot what my password was for a long while....

I AM SO SAD

i had the exact money saved, like down to 5pences, to go and see PASTELS/TENNISCOATS and Veronica Falls in Stereo this week.

i have the f*****g poster on my wall, and i was SURE it was Friday the 4th of September. but NO i got it wrong, it was WEDNESDAY the SECOND. :( 

i just stumbled across a mini review today (3/9/09) telling me how great it was and how there were little fanzines made especially for the event and my heroes Belle and Sebastian were in attendance....... made me want to cry briefly. 

i keep missing so many good little 'gigs' in Glasgow, i used to be a little venue whore, at all of them. i guess that was when i put effort into my job. but then i got lazy and my paycheck sort of halved each month until now i get roughly £180 a month ha...... lazybones.

but a lesson has been learned:

ALWAYS double check the date on the poster of an event you really want to attend.

ALWAYS try to work a bit harder in wor..... no scrap that one.

ALWAYS wear glasses.

end.

Wee Boab

This my favourite picture Bob Dylan, isn't he kool?

Sing a Holiday Hymn.

Got looaaadsa concerto tickets this week, 4 artistes that have moulded and washed my brain thoroughly over the past 12months:

August 8th- I am EIGHTEEN and I go to see David Byrne of Talking Heads at the Playhouse in Edinburgh!

August 21st- I go to see Edwyn Collins of Orange Juice in Edinburgh(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

September the somethingth- I go to see The Pastels in Stereo

December the somethingth- Vic Godard & The Subway Sect in Stereo

some might say, these 4 artiztes are 'hasbeens' but for I, they are, ''willalwaysbe's'' and I am very excited, yes i am.

now some videos: the embed thingy wont work:(

Edwyn Collins - A girl like you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kzUuj-3BG58

Subway Sect - Ambition http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwgpWojUC_4

The Pastels - Crawl Babies http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shnXuSP8pPs

Talking Heads - Burning Down The House http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3A6ar44Ecec

the edwyn collins one is the BEST.
when i went to see him last time, Roddy Frame from Aztec Camera was on guitar, Edwyn can't play guitar anymore because of his stroke, but i hate guitar solos and show offs, but Roddy fucking killed it during A Girl Like You, i was so amazed, I had never ever seen anything like it before, in the flesh. It was truly amazing.

The End.

HUNGRY. BEAT.

TESTOSTERONE IN THE PARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Week

This week has been quite alright, been staying with a few people. Stayed with my friend Andrew for a few nights, we had a party, and i was the second of 10-15 teens/young adults to K.O. We were on the famous ale- Stella, famous for knocking you out and make you knock your wife out.... Plus plenty, well, too much of the old herby herby waccy tobaccy. Totally fried our brains this week with those lovely green leaves, i don't think i'm going to indulge in many more Mary Joanna parties or sessions. It just makes you tired and makes you fry or microwave all your food (microwaved eggs the other day) because you cant be bothered to wait long when hungry..... All my friendlings are off to T IN THE PARK this weekend. I'm not though. I went last year, for the first time, and i was moderately impressed, and put off quite a bit when the police found a dead junkie in his tent only metres away from us, and the same morning a man was stabbed 12times all over his body, for trying to protect his girl friend, not girlfriend, but, girl friend from a pervy mob of males. I mean, why? why? why pay like 2-300quidlings to wake up to that shit, doesnt festival mean people coming together to celebrate? celebrate in eachothers company?........angry. BUT very hypocritically putting that aside, when drunk last week me and my other non-going friend handshook on going to T for the Friday only, becuase it is quite a nice likkle lineup that day, Edywn Collins, Camera Obscura, YYY's, Franz and Nick Cave all playing pretty much one after the other........ all for £60. but, i cannot get a hold of Scott, my friend, i don't know where he is or what he's upto, i chapped his door and phoned a few times. but NAE ANSWER..... so i can't be bothered going on my own, so i'm, NOT. i can't be bothered spending probably £100+ on burgers and overpriced pishy beer. my maw, paw and sistaw are back from their holiday anyway, me is just gona chill in da crib wit dem and see how da weekend pans out. if i do eventually get a hold of Scott friend, then we'll probably make music or something.

THE END.

doodles

just some things from a sketchbook.
over summer i want to make a fanzine of like drawings and stuff, anything, photos, whatever.

i'm so bored right now, dismantled my dads old Korg synthesizer earlier, because it has started coughing and stuff when i play it. so i opened her up to see what i could do, and now i can't get my head round how to put it back together, so i'm just going to leave it, and maybe do it tomorrow.
and my mum forgot to buy teabags, which is a total diaster, there are lemon ones there, but i can't be doing with Lemons! i want Tetleys and i want it now....................... otherwise i'm quite happy staying in tonight, messing about with my guitar and ukelele and such other things.

have a good FRIDAY xx

Dreams.

Two dreams i had recently, they scared the shit out of me, i felt the need to write them down as clearly as my memory would allow:

Bad Dream Spasm: The Scanner of Numb.

Starts at the feet, at the same time, a shower of tiny jaggy football boots running all over me. I'm trapped, cannot move. The scanning starts. Like the light on a scanner photocopier, up and down, feelings of extreme pins and needles move up and down the body, I start to worry about the possibility of a cardiac arrest, a heart attack. I want to scream, but my body and mind won't let me. I can't tell if i'm moving my mouth and the words are frozen, or if I'm just imagining i can't. speak. My body continues to fizz up. I feel like all the tiny fuzzy particles on a blank TV channel. the scanner of numb keeps moving up and down. I feel and worry more and more about cardiac arrest. I shout for 'help' over and over again, but nothing sounds or moves. The scanner of numb is fizzing intensely and fast, when. Boom. The crescendo of numb. Like a thousand tiny pieces, a thousand tiny football boots jumping on me, on my tounge, my fat swelling tounge. And then i begin to open my eyes in a boiling hot freezing cold pit of sweat. All i see is the fuzz of a blank television. I need water.

Big Head Bobby, Dream:

Tiny feet. Tiny tiny feet. And a big bobbing body. I feel like a russian doll. The ones with more inside. Only I'm just one. I feel like I'm bobbing in the sea. Feelings of intense intense regret and paranoia for the extreme unknown. I feel like my fat russian doll body is swelling, with water, or blood, maybe. Maybe there is no liquid involved. Just filling up with the feelings of self loathing, guilt, regret, paranoia and hate. Fear for not knowing what I have done. Knowing they are after me. And I'm just bobbing away. Like a buoy in the sea. With my tiny, tiny feet, glued together. My mouth swelling up as ever to the tune of the unknown. To the tune of self torture. What have I done? They have arrived at my door. To get me.


i was actually awake during these two 'dreams', i don't know what else to call them. they were just very clear feelings. maybe i was hallucinating. ?. who knows.

BlaakesBlog Issue 1

I had a meaty deadline for this morning. I study Graphic Design and it was to design an identity for a sock company called Sox'n'Box. And to apply the logo onto a box, bag and swing tags that we also design.
I left it SO late, had to just use a Primark bag because i flipped trying to glue my own together, which got me thinking 'am i cut out for this horrible shit' and i thought 'yes, your just a lazy cunt'. Were always given like 3 weeks and i always leave everything til the 3rd and just go to the pub or play on youtube for the others, but somehow i always pull through. Anyways this is what i came up with, got it in bang on time, they loved it. Will find out how i did soooon:


Today, my love for Josef K got alot stronger, when i stopped listening to the 5 'famous' songs on the album and explored a little more. They are truly amazing, and i'm fucking glad their so under rated and unknown. They just came and done it, made the album (twiceish), got bored and chucked it, one made solo albums, one joined Orange Juice then Aztec Camera and fuck knows what the other two done. I really want to go through to Edinburgh and jump off that big pillar-y thing like they do in the video i shall post.
If anyone actually EVER looks at this, watch the video, its good!